Communism sucks, capitalism hurts and socialism is icky
In America, we’re (almost) all socialists. We just don’t know it.
Communism is a cute, feel-good idea: Everyone is economically equal, but as we learned from Russia and China, communism doesn’t work. One person soon takes a shine to power and all the yes-men minions that go with it. Next thing you know, the entire communist system, which really isn’t communist anymore, flushes itself down the toilet.
Not that pure capitalism works either. While it’s the most efficient way for a country to maximize wealth, it stumbles in helping individuals maximize personal wealth: The rich get richer and richer paying the poor less and less. Eventually, the rich give their money to their already-rich children, and it continues.
Six capitalistic generations later, a destitute lower class has nothing to lose and no hope. One day, one of the smarter poor people – his or her parents couldn’t afford formal schooling – has an epiphany: “We’re 98 percent of the population. I think we can take them.”
The 98 percent works itself into a lather listening to the words of this rebel, and they say, “God damn it. We’re going to take some of that capitalistic money in the rich folks’ hoard.” And they do it because, as it turns out, they actually could “take them.”
Marie Antoinette learned this lesson in capitalism the hard way when the paupers tried to get ahead. (A head. Get it?)
In the U.S., socialism (government-owned things that benefit everyone) is the only viable option. Like free public schools? Most people do, but that’s socialism since it’s government funded and open to all.
Like Social Security? It keeps us from stepping over an awkward pile of old people sleeping on the sidewalk, though a small number of Americans don’t buy into this socialist program. (Lest there be any doubt about its roots, Social Security even includes the word “social” in its name.)
Think the government should own all the utility companies to even-out service and keep costs down? Now we’ve got a discussion, and many Americans won’t ride this train.
Without socialism, we’d have no middle class – just a handful of rich folks and an ocean of poor folks. “Pursuit of happiness,” in the Declaration of Independence, would be, “You’re screwed unless you have some extraordinary skill the rich are willing to pay for and don’t already have, such as throwing 50-yard field goals or looking really, really good naked on the silver screen.”
The American government never operated under pure capitalism, so let’s focus on the actual discussion: How much should the government interfere, via socialism, in order to maintain a middle class and avoid unfair advantages?
We’ll still disagree. A lot. There are simply thousands and thousands of variables. The government has a penchant for waste, such as $200 toilet seats, but the private sector has had its major screw-ups too. An impressive team of financial pros considered incompetence a team sport and created the recent recession.
But we must find our middle ground. If we accept our socialist roots and begin the conversation, we can at least talk about the same thing – the level of socialism we generally find acceptable.
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