A laser focus on bigots misses the point. Hate drives most of today’s problems. We spend too much time talking as if hate and bigotry are the same thing.

Imagine two people:

Ida Mae Everton, who just happens to have the first name of my great-grandmother, loves all God’s creatures. She has cats and dogs, and she’s been known to shuffle cockroaches outside rather than kill them, even though she doesn’t like cockroaches. She’s a religious woman who firmly believes that you should treat others the way you wish to be treated.

Now Ida Mae considers the black man (and woman, but she still says “man”) inferior. It’s her age or culture talking, but the occasional intelligent black man, like that nice Barack Obama, is “one of the good ones.”

However, if Ida Mae stumbles upon someone bleeding in the street – black, white or gray – she’ll take them inside, nurse their wounds and make them tea. Her attitude about black people doesn’t fall far from her attitude about all living things: God put creatures on this earth, and we should honor and respect all of them, skin color, IQ or circumstances not withstanding. They’re all God’s gifts.

Ida Mae is a bigot, but Ida Mae doesn’t hate.

Sadie Lou Deville hates black people. If you ask her why, she’ll talk about laws that give blacks an edge and “white discrimination.” She might note a local rape or two in which the perpetrators were black and hold it up as justification for her righteous anger. She may have gobs of stories about some specific black person who lives three houses down.

However, Sadie Lou will mention the reasons for her hate only if questioned. In fact, she doesn’t really think about those reasons if a question isn’t asked.

Mention the name Barack Obama and Sadie Lou’s face contorts as if a great wrong has been done to her. Allow the words “Rev. Al Sharpton” to slip out, and Sadie Lou cringes as if you used the “F” word in church. If pushed for a reason, she might talk about some perceived problems bandied about and use general phrases like “worst president ever” and “wants everything free,” but the hate comes first – the reasons exist only to justify it.

Sadie Lou is a bigot, and Sadie Lou hates.

Which is better?

The world could hum along just fine with tons of Ida Mae’s, but it falls apart with masses of Sadie Lou’s. Maybe Sadie Lou feels insecure and hate is a way to lift her spirits – a way to feel better about herself by insulting others. Maybe she’s an Ida Mae with psychological issues.

It doesn’t matter.

To quote the Joker from Batman: “Why so angry?” People who hate need a reason to hate, and they often find it in religion, bigotry, politics or one of a hundred human crevasses of disagreement. For many, the hate comes first and the bigotry plays second fiddle. It’s not someone’s fault they’re black, have a low IQ or are short, so again: Why so angry?

When we focus exclusively on bigotry in our midst, are we simply talking about a symptom of the bigger problem? If Ida Mae doesn’t hate, the words “white privilege” lead to questions: “What is that? What do you mean?” If Sadie Lou hears “white privilege,” she gets pissed and pulls out her how-dare-you attitude.

Ida Mae’s opinions might be changed through understanding and conversation. But hate? That’s a challenge.

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