Writers want our words back. Politicians, advertisers and advocacy groups stole perfectly good words, twisted meanings and left us in an awkward position: We can’t talk about certain topics because we don’t have the tools to say what we mean.

“Freedom of speech” doesn’t work without the “speech” part.

“Fake news” is the latest. It should mean a lie presented in a legit-news-article format – not, “I don’t like that, so it’s fake.” “More bodies discovered in giant steel drums at the Clinton’s home” hit my Facebook post this week. It’s fake. Hooey. But a poll released by Reuters isn’t, even if the results are wrong.

Other hijacked words

Politically correct: Post civil-rights movement, we faked equality, but the goal wasn’t to dampen Second Amendment rights, just to “fake it ‘til we make it.” Now, however, “political correctness” means “I can say all the bigoted crap I couldn’t say before.”

Gay: This means homosexual. It also means happy. Like “store” (verb vs. noun) and grain (seed vs. direction of wood), we’re perfectly capable of understanding dual word meanings via context, and while no one stole “gay,” the pundits decided to erase the old meaning lest anyone get confused. We can and should sing “Don we now our gay apparel” without changing the lyrics.

Senior citizen: “Senior citizens” replaced “geriatric”; it then became “seniors”; it then became “mature” or “seasoned.” But with each iteration, advertisers hijacked it to sell adult diapers, denture cream and hearing aids, so each word now means “decrepit.” The only non-insulting word is “55-plus,” and that’s more of a description.

Feminist: Men and women who believe in political and social equality for women are feminists. Period. It’s not code for lesbians, femi-Nazis, liberal agendas or killing old white men. Politicians took a good word and turned it into a hate crime.

News: A blog isn’t news, nor is a tweet, Facebook post, talk show monologue or article in the editorial section. True journalists write news stories based on research and, most of the time, an impartial attitude about the facts.

Liberal: Run-of-the-mill liberals believe government can and should solve more problems with an eye on all citizens rather than just the rich. They disagree about almost every detail of that dream, but they see “government” as a synonym for “working together to make the world a better place.” With a few exceptions, they’re not an evil hoard tearing the country down.

Conservative: Run-of-the-mill conservatives believe the U.S. is best served by empowering individuals rather than government, and that the American ideal of independence and freedom is best served by grit and stamina rather than universal healthcare and food stamps. They, too, disagree about the details but, with a few exceptions, they’re not an evil hoard tearing the country down.

Please return our words before the senior-gay-feminist conservative/liberals destroy us.

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